Pervert!

I have to be honest.  This movie was an absolute treat.  Yes, it started off a little slowly, and the humor in the beginning was sophomoric, however, it quickly changed direction.  The direction it took was that of an extremely enjoyable modern exploitation horror/comedy.  At times, I was reminded of Andre the Butcher and at other times I could think of nothing but Russ Meyer, as this movie certainly had an affinity for those jumbles of fat and mammary glands that round from a woman's chest.


The movie twists from crazy religious freaks in the bible belt, to crazy voodoo doctors, to a weird naked Indian woman obviously looking for the next Jim Morrison, to a bat shit Nazi homosexual who actually uses the line, "I ain't one a dem sissy queer faggots.  I didn't come to redecorate your livin' room.  I came to fuck ya in da ass!" and on through to a crazy killer penis intent on killing ever beautiful, busty and voluptuous woman in this film.  And the women of this film has a lot to do with my four-star rating, but we'll get to that a little later.


Here's the plot:


James (Sean Andrews) arrives from New Orleans at a desert home owned by his father, Hezekiah (Darrell Sandeen) to help out. Soon after arriving, James is hit on by Hezekiah's wife, Cheryl (the wonderfully voluptuous Mary Carey), and starts having nightmares.  The first scene the three are in together is a dinner table scene that I see as an homage to Faster Pussycat Kill, Kill, Kill. 


James and Cheryl are eventually and comically caught having sex by Hezekiah. Cheryl and Hezekiah have a fight, then allegedly she leaves the ranch that night, but James theorizes that his father may have killed the woman.


Hezekiah drives into town and picks up another woman, Alisha (Sally Jean), who also quickly falls for James then disappears. While waiting for James in in the kitchen, she's fucked then killed by the very monster James had been seeing in his dreams.  Personally, I thought it was a Critter, but it turned out I was wrong.  While Alisha is waiting for James in the kitchen, he investigates his father's studio for evidence of his murdering Cheryl, who staggers into the studio naked and bloody, and dies in front of James. He takes her into the house, where he finds his father crying over Alisha's dead body.


James calls a care facility because he thinks his dad has gone crazy. They send out a nurse, Patty (the sultry and equally voluptuous Juliette Clarke), who handcuffs Hezekiah to his bed so that the next time somebody gets killed, he can be eliminated as a suspect. In the few days of waiting for the next victim to show up, Patty and James decide to while away the time by having sex.


James reveals to Patty that he went to a witch doctor (Edmund Johnson) back in New Orleans to help him with attracting females but was misled; his penis can now detach itself from his body and kill people, which we find out simultaneously as James' penis releases Hezekiah from his handcuffs and goes on a war path.  We later find out that Patty is not a nurse at all, but was the lesbian lover of Cheryl.


A side story involves a sexually confused local mechanic (producer/director Jonathon Yudis) and his probably intentional delay in fixing James' car, in order to seduce him.


This movie does it for me for a number of reasons.  (1) The kooky sound effects really bring this film into the modern b-movie exploitation genre.  (2)  The acting is very funny and intentionally over-the-top.  (3) Most of all, the women in this movie were miles above any other titty b-film I've ever seen.  Both Mary Carey and Juliette Clarke were thick, beautiful women, and they seemed nothing like the usual plastic twigs I'm used to seeing in most films these days.  I was, of course, disappointed to find out that Mary Cary's figure in this movie was only a part of a temporary weight gain after a personal tragedy, but thankfully, it's saved on film forever, because she looked absolutely stunning with, as Hezekiah would say, "A little fuckin' meat on her bones!"


I'm actually not a big pornography fan, so I had no idea Mary was a porn star before this movie.  I sort of figured.  And so far, I've seen Juliette Clarke in nothing else, but this reviewer wouldn't mind a repeat of the comical, yet over-the-top sexified lesbian flashback scene between the two that took place at the end of the movie.

Overall, aside from just being impressed at the choice of females, the movie was an absolute treasure to watch.  It was mindless, pointless, aimless, and not at all poignant.  Just like a b-rate horror/comedy/exploitation film should be.  The acting was priceless (not good, mind you, but priceless), the story was funny, the scenes were funny, the characters were wonderful, and this movie is anything but forgettable.  I certainly have to give this one four stars.  I pondered 3 1/2, but my lovely fiancee insisted I make it four, as she enjoyed this treasure as much as I did.  In the end, I wouldn't rather shoot my balls off with a proton pack than watch this movie again.  In fact, I think I might do so right now.  Watch the movie, that is.  Not shoot my balls off with an unlicensed nuclear reactor.

So close to a Starman rating that it hurts.