STASH

First and foremost, yes this movie's title refers to what you're thinking, but there's more to it.  As you can see from the cover, this movie is no Killer Bud.  But I can say for sure, whomever wrote this movie was surely smoking something.

Here's the premise:  A female's (Sarah) car breaks down on a country road, and she's offered a ride by two hillbilly, redneck "gangstas".  This ride would prove nearly fatal for Sarah, as you could imagine, as she's brought to the home of the Hillbilly Jim-looking Bud.  Turns out, Stan and CJ, the hillbilly's who picked up Sarah, broke into Bud's home and stole some of his pot, but Bud busted them.  He then offered them a wager: if they brought him three girls in three days, he'd let them live.  Bud apparently experts in human trafficking of sorts, but doesn't really track the girls.  He just chains them up in rooms with stone wallpapering, and tortures and rapes them repeatedly.  It would usually be a little disturbing to watch women being came upon by this fat, dirty hillbilly fuck, if it weren't for the fact that he yells, "Shazam!" every time he came.  Sorry, but that just made it a little too funny, though, possibly a Family Guy reference or rip-off.

The story also centers around Sarah's family.  Her father is a cop, as seems to be the case with any story of kidnapping, and aids local police in the investigation of his own daughter, which, by the way, would never actually happen in real life. 

The movie also centers around a rather disturbing relationship between CJ and his prostitute mother.  Every scene with the two together in the movie, they're fighting, but it's in such a weird way that you don't know if they're going to start swinging blows or fucking each other.  I guess that's normal in trailer park homes, but I've thankfully never experienced that myself.  Eventually, CJ's mother kicks him out of the home, which isn't very long before he's caught by police and questioned.

CJ leads the police to Bud, who then has the usual movie showdown with police which ends in a cliche happy ending, as you may have guessed.

Well, actually, it leaves room for a sequel, which I must hope never happens.  After Sarah is saved, the writer takes a cheap ending, having Sarah run down the real ending of the movie as written in her diary.  But just after she says, "This town will never have to go through this again," we get a scene cut to Bud's grave.  A child is standing in front of it.  A very, very, very deformed, hillbilly flipper of a child, who proclaims, "I won't letchu dayoon, dadday!"  Yeah, fucking great, right.

Overall, the Jacob Ellis film would have been decent, if it weren't for just a few factors:  1.  I couldn't watch Bud do anything without hearing "Don't Go Messin' with a Country Boy" in my head, thus relieving me of any intended discomfort from the snuff in the film.  2.  Jack Begley's acting, Sarah's father, annoyed me so much, it made me hope that Sarah gets cut up and found pregnant in three pieces.  3.  Despite the first girl being nude through all of her scenes, Sarah never gets below her underwear, which seems incredibly inconsistent with Bud's proclivities.

I wouldn't watch it a second time.  In fact, I'd rather see fire and brimstone falling from the sky!  I'd rather see Rivers and seas boiling!  40 years of darkness, earthquakes, and volcanoes!  The dead rising from the grave!  Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together!  And I guess, while I'm at it, I'd rather strap and unlicensed nuclear accelerator to my back and fight a she-bitch from hell and her hounds of hell atop a wobbly NY high rise, only to hear a giant marshmallow man heading my way to tear my head off.

I'll give it a star for the hilarity it brought me, but like I said, it didn't bring me anything else.  No other emotions at all.  Just pure laughter.  It might as well have been Saw!

I do, however, have one extra side-note for the man who wrote the song at the end of this movie.  I seriously hope you get gagged and water boarded a thousand times, then you have kerosene-soaked toothpicks stuck into your cuticles, and lit on fire until you finally combust and your body can be disposed of in a septic tank where it truly belongs.